The meeting
by the pilot of eva unit 04
Summary: What happends if TNA and WWE merge: Complete Mayhem (if they can even make it through this meeting.)


**Disclaimer: I don't own these series**

 **Note: I just started watching TNA recently but then gave up when I didn't like where it was going (and lost the channel) and I haven't watched WWE in years so my knowledge is based on what I remember and could find online**

 **I also have to say this as well even though it might be a bit late by the time this is posted. RIP Chyna despite what you did in later years you were a trail blazer.**

 **The meeting**

It was a somewhat normal day as an auditorium filled up with what looked like two different groups of people who were obviously not sitting still and quiet

"Can you believe these two companies are now merged?" Trish Stratus asked as she talked with Jacqueline until someone came up next to her

"Hey is this seat taken?" someone asked as they tore the seat next to her out and literally took it

"Dammit Kong bring that back!" Trish yelled as Awesome Kong carried the seat down the aisle and sat next to Rockstar Spud

"I am not going to be able to live with myself if I can't get along with these people." Rockstar Spud groaned

"Well you are just going to have to find another apartment then." Kurt Angle said

Just then two people came out onto the stage at the front of the auditorium and the room started to quiet down

"Welcome to our first meeting after the merger, for those of you that don't know me I'm Vince McMahon and this is Dixie Carter we are now the joint owners of this merged company."

"Now before we continue with this meeting," Dixie said "we have to do a slight roll call."

Everyone just groaned

"Oh come on this won't take long."

"Okay announcers for WWE commentary and ring raise your hands." Seven hands went up

"Check."

"TNA announcers same thing." several hands went up

"WWE Divas same thing." more hands went up

"Do we really have to be referred to as divas?" Lita asked "That name sucks."

"We're working on it." Dixie groaned

"Hey why is one of your announcers raising their hand?" Brooke asked

"I'm listed under both." Lilian Garcia said with a shrug

"You sound like you need a hobby." Sable said with a sneer

"Like you should talk," Lilian said "I've heard of some of your antics."

"Oh you are asking for it." Sable replied which caused Lilian to start a tirade in Spanish

"Okay both you sit down and cool off and watch the language!" Vince ordered as Lita and Gail Kim separated the two

"TNA knock outs raise your hands please" more hands went up

"WWE and TNA male stars as well please." The rest of the hands went up

"Now that the introductions are out of the way as said earlier welcome to our first official company meeting." Dixie said

"Now before we get the show on the road there are a few rules to go over," Vince said as a bunch of groans were hard "you guys brought this on yourselves from last week's antics when we had the groups try to bond."

"Which brings us to the first issue," Dixie said "the two underwear raids last week when we said bond that is not what we meant everyone return the stolen underwear."

"Spoilsport." Lita said as everyone returned the stolen underwear

"I'll trade for Booker T's," Goldust said as he held up another pair of what appeared to be women's underwear while everyone traded back with each other "I wonder who this belongs to they seem to have a big butt."

"Tell me he did not just say that." Booker T winced as a few people tried to hold back an irate Awesome Kong who looked about ready to throw a chair

"Moving on, we are having an issue with the makeup budget," Dixie said as everyone settled back down "someone has been overusing the makeup causing its budget to sky rocket though I have a few ideas on who Beautiful People didn't we talk about this?"

"Wasn't us we bring our own it's much better than the others." Velvet Sky said

"Dollhouse did you overdue it with the makeup?"

"We had a customer who needed it." Teryn Terell said

"They said it really brings out my eyes." Goldust said

"Moving on and I don't want to know, there was the issue of last week's catfight that didn't have to do with bonding."

"What we bonded in our hatred of certain people," Trish said "it's not our fault the hair dye wound up in Sable's shampoo."

"Someone will pay for that." Sable grumbled as she looked at her reflection which had what appeared to have her hair looking the same color as Jeff Hardy's.

"Wonder who snuck the dye in?" Jacqueline said as Gail and Lilian whistled innocently.

"What are you people so jealous of, it's not my fault, I'm the most beautiful and talented women on the roster."

"Uh oh," Rockstar Spud said "um Sable was it you might want to run."

"Why?" Sable said as she turned around saw every other woman in the auditorium glaring at her

"Please don't get violent in here." Dixie said as she tried to restore order which resulted with the rest of the women literally throwing Sable out the door

"Anyway moving on, no more liaisons in the broom closets or any closets they are getting out of control."

"Also all karaoke sessions are now permanently canceled due to the incident last week."

"What idiot let a drunk Stephanie McMahon get on stage and sing 'Hit me baby one more time'?" Ivory asked

"I have a beautiful voice right everyone?" Stephanie asked only to meet the sound of crickets chirping

"Moving on due to the recent incident alcohol is now banned." Dixie said

"NO!" yelled both the APA and Beer Money in shock

"You should have thought of that before you four started that brawl last week."

"Hey we didn't start it." Bradshaw complained

"Too bad deal with it."

"I give that rule a week before it gets broken." Molly Holly grumbled

"Also we are now doing mandatory psychiatric evaluations since to be blunt some of the people here need it." Dixie said

"They aren't that bad, Kane put that match down and drop the gas can." Vince yelled as the big red monster was pouring what looked like gasoline over a chair

"What was that they were saying about sanity?" Victoria asked

"Hey calm down you're beyond help." Jade said sarcastically

"You want to repeat that you Barbie reject?" Victoria yelled to the blue haired member of the Dollhouse as the two were separated

"Gee who didn't see that coming?" Faarooqsaid as him and some others started drinking beer

"Okay who smuggled in the beer didn't we say no alcohol?" Dixie asked

"WHAT?" Stone Cold yelled as he hid a case of bear "You are telling me I can't drink beer here anymore?!"

"I should have seen that coming," Vince groaned as the autorium broke into chaos "people return to your seats, Mickie stop dancing in the aisles; Victoria, Jade break it up, Goldust leave Booker T alone until the meeting is over, Stephanie put that microphone down and Jeff, AJ get down from the rafters no jumping off anything during the meeting."

"Everyone sit down and behave!" Dixie tried to yell over the din

"Is that normal?" Dixie asked as she pointed at something

"Yeah my employees always act bizarre."

"Good to know but I was talking about the fact that half the female roster is trying to beat up one of the commentators."

"Oh great, ladies please stop trying to beat up Jerry for his perverted comments at least wait till the meeting is over Trish, Lilian, Lita don't think I don't notice the chairs you are hiding behind your backs they are for sitting not for hitting commentators with."

"Let's merge companies you said," Dixie groaned "it will be good business and more potential you said there was nothing listed about having to deal with two groups of lunatics running around."

"Okay, my employees are a little bit bizarre but they aren't bad." Vince complained

"Pretty flame." Kane said in a sing song voice as he was staring at matches he was holding

"Those better not be mine."Undertaker yelled

"What if they are?" Kane asked as Undertaker tackled him trying to grab the matches back

"Goldust have you considered changing your outfit to pink it would be flattering on you?" Marti Bell asked

"Nah it wouldn't work with his complexion." Jade argued as she grabbed the make up from Marti Bell

"Hey that's mine!" Marti yelled as her and Jade started playing tug of war with the makeup while arguing about colors while Teryn grumbled in the background

"Pink!"

"Gold!"

"Magenta with poka dots!" Goldust chimed in as the duo looked at him weirdly

"Come on ladies make it interesting!" Jerry yelled before fleeing in terror from the rest of the female roster

"This is your idea of not weird?!" Dixie asked

"They used to be worse; I think the previous shrink helped."

"At least before he ran off screaming after hearing Kane's theory on fire dancing!" Spike Dudley yelled

"I had to come here, I could have taken a vacation anywhere but no I had to stay with the company." ECIII complained to Bobby Lashley

"Well never a dull moment with these two companies now merged," Dixie said as her and Vince watched the meeting descend into chaos


End file.
